Ten Days and Pacing

So it's officially ten days until my first trip to Japan.

Am I excited?  

YES.  

Am I ready for it?  

Well, yes and no.  

Why yes and no? The answer's a bit complicated.

I've been a fan of Japan and Japanese culture for years now -- ever since my first incidental viewing of Akira on the Sci-Fi (now SyFy) channel.  I didn't know this was the heavily edited version, of course, but I'd always been a fan of art, drawing, and animation, and to me Akira was the pinnacle of all three.  It was the perfect example of what happens when you have passionate people creating passion passionately.  And it made me want more.

Since then, I became more and more engrossed with Japan and Asian culture.  I entered college, took some Japanese culture courses, and eventually minored in the language.  With the help of my sister, I founded the college's first anime club (GatorAnime is still going strong), and even my primary coursework in studio art had the strong influence of Japan.

So I should be ready, right?  What do I have to be afraid of?  

I guess it's probably more an unfounded fear, but after so many years of wanting and wanting and wanting to go to Japan, it feels strange to almost be there.  And certainly after ten years of flirtation with Japan, I guess I'm hoping that our first meeting will be the real thing, and not just a photo chopped out or scanned from a magazine.

I'm hoping I'm not disappointed.

I'm sure I won't be.

But a small part of me fears "What if I don't like it?"  And perhaps it's that small part of me that has been holding me back for all those years after all -- that, and the exorbitant price of admission, of course.

But there's really not point in asking "What if...?" right now.  After all, I bought the ticket.  I've got my hotel.  And I am just ten days away from realizing a dream I've held for ten years.  I guess there should be some solace in that.  If I don't like it (which I'm sure I will), it's not the end of the world.  It's not even the end of the game.  There are so many things about Japan I already am sure I love.  For me, the best advice I can give myself is probably to just sit back, relax, and enjoy the...everything.

~Tet